Sorry
by miku
Summary: Rated PG be coz it's yaoi. O.o my first Naruto fic. Hehe. KakaSasu, anyone? oh well... if you review, you might get a sequel! and because of comments, i changed the rating pray for me to regain my zest in writing coz i really wanna write a sequ


**SORRY?**

_By miku_

Standard disclaimers apply

A/N: Damn! I'm in a bad mood today to expect something dark. Yeeeeesh, my first Naruto fic and… ARG! Oh well… R&R please.

Warning! This is shounen-ai with Sasuke as the uke.

This is one-shot. I rarely write one-shots so please bear with me. I'm currently writing a chaptered story but then… damn, I got bad mood and all that so… sorry? And oooh, I'm not so good with angst but I cry fast. And some scene may seem mushy but then… well… it can't be avoided with shounen-ai, ne?

**SORRY?**

_By miku_

_Sasuke's POV:_

So I followed him home – one thing I had never done to anyone before. I followed him like some pathetic hopeful chick whose heart's so sunk into the damn sordid ground; its path deeply engraved. Dignity forgotten, more so this annoying cold exterior, I followed him. And he was not saying any words. He was neither smiling. He continued his silent walk, completely ignoring me. And I was still following him with my eyes burning hot from shame. But I did not cry. Of course I did not cry.

"I need to talk to you, sensei," I said to him earlier, before he discussed the overview of the mission, while he was laughing at Naruto, after he heard me mumbling my secrets to myself. "What you..."

I stopped as I saw his nonchalant eyes. The way they looked at me stabbed my already rotting soul – they were emotionless, so unreadable. So I stopped. I bit my lip and tried my hardest to look tough. It annoyed me to realize that my eyebrows were flinching uncontrollably, thwarting my usual façade. But I stood still, stiffer than usual but it was fine until he told me, "Later Sasuke," and I almost felt my knees lost all forced energy. I nearly dropped but I managed to overcome it. Not in front of him, not where his eyes could see me should I be weak. So I nodded and tried the best feigned mocking scowl to Naruto who was blabbering nonsense like the usual. But Kakashi-sensei… Kakashi-sensei seemed more interested to Naruto's nonsense than mine. So I sat beside Sakura and waited until the day was over.

"Kakashi-sensei," I called again. Naruto and Sakura had left already and Kakashi-sensei's eyes were darted to the path they took. I swallowed hard, felt like he was not interested at all. I was not supposed to do this. I was not supposed to say a word. I was not supposed to confront him and revive him of what he heard.

But I wanted to talk to him, to know what he thought of me now, to know what to do next. So I stepped forward once more and called him. "What you heard sensei was…" I paused, unable to make a decision. But there was no denying of the fact. I said it and he heard it clear. There was no excuse.

"Yes?"

He did not face me but instead he started to walk, his favorite book was still kept in his pocket so I presumed that he was listening. I followed him, walking behind him all the time still unable to continue. I watched how his back moved with his every step – I had memorized the rhythm already. I watched how precise his steps were and how synchronized they were with the swaying of his hair. I had learned all his casual moves just by following him but still… I had not yet continued to speak. The truth was… I wanted to run and cry. But no, not even behind his back should I be weak.

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to make silent of my sigh. "Do you hate me?" I finally asked, finally realizing it was all I needed to know. But he continued to walk and I continued to follow with my heart clenching real hard, thumping with my throat, stinging my eyes. I was not supposed to do this.

"No, Sasuke-kun," he answered and despite the endearment, I felt cold all over. He was not feeling me. He only answered to answer me. Why should he sympathize with me, I mocked. Unless I was hoping that he felt the same way then I should not expect more kindness. I, myself, had been too cold to those who liked me. It was karma. Of course, it should be karma.

I nodded once and continued my steps until he stopped and turned to me. At least, I thought, we were getting somewhere. "Why should I hate you anyway?" he asked, drawing his right arm to his waist. I stopped as well and stared. He had no plan of making it easy for me, I thought. But I had no plan to seem weak.

"Because," I started, swallowing hard again. "Because of what you heard."

"What do you know of what I have heard?"

I could feel it, the damn tears threatening to fall any moment because of my lacking for an answer. I did not want to say it again. I did not want to feel the shame again. Because it was wrong and I knew it and it hurt like hell. I could just run away and speak no more of this and hoped that he would do the same. But no. I could never hold it any longer than now.

"I know that you know I like you," I muttered under my breath, my eyes hidden beneath my bangs. My feet froze. My hands were numb. And my face was burning more so were my eyes.

"Oh? Was that what you said last night?" he asked with an indifferent voice and I bit my lip so hard that it bled.

I knew it was wrong to like him. He was a guy and he was my sensei and I was only thirteen years old and what could be my worth? How could I even satisfy him when I could not even make him smile? But… I could be a jerk for him, like what I just did now. And I could be a jerk forever, I guess. But it would not be enough. It was never any nearer to be enough.

I nodded and kept still and he kept silent. I waited… hearing only but the wind and the silent footfalls of oncoming passers-by. I could not look at him now. I could never look at him again. And it was a shame because he had such a gentle face – the face that managed to lighten me up from time to time.

"Aw, forget it Sasuke-kun," he said casually, waving his hand in a gesture that told me it was not important… what I felt was not important. "You're not serious about it anyway, are you?"

At last I felt my heart again. It thumped once and twice and then again and again. Thumping madly. Clenching hard. My eyes could not hold it any longer so I turned around to hide my face.

"Yeah, I guess," I answered, forcing my voice to sound stoic, yet annoyed that I actually choked. "Just forget what I said, I guess. Ja, sensei."

Then I breathed hard and left. But he called me.

"Sasuke…"

And I stopped.

_Kakashi's POV:_

I knew I was hurting him. Making him follow me like a dog, not saying a word or two to at least show recognition. I did not know what to tell him. I did not know because what I wanted and what I was required were two contrasting things.

"Do you hate me?" he asked and I noticed the hesitation in his young voice. I inwardly shook my head.

How could I hate you? Especially now that I learned we shared the same sentiment. I wanted to be happy; I wanted you to be happy. But there were many things I needed to consider like being a man and being your sensei and above all… Naruto…

"No, Sasuke-kun," I answered, colder than what I intended, and I felt him and his anxiety. I wanted to comfort him. He was still so young and I needed to be gentler. But being so would mean disclosing myself. I turned around to at least smile but seeing him torn apart held me back. "Why should I hate you anyway?"

He was strong and I admired him for that. Despite the tension, he still managed to look straight at me, his eyes not cowering.

"Because, because of what you heard."

"What do you know of what I have heard?" I asked and inwardly punched myself. I was making it difficult for him. And he was making it difficult for me, too.

I wanted to forget that night.

The moon was full and was so bright, painted against the sky that was so clear. The wind that was blowing gently was so cold and relaxing and everything seemed perfect. I went out to the woods collecting my thoughts when I saw him and I immediately decided that the night could never be more perfect. He was sitting on the humid grass-floor and with the always present scowl on his face. I smiled wondering how such beautiful night could ruin his equally beautiful face. I silently walked aiming towards his direction when I felt another familiar presence near him.

It was Naruto and he wore an expression that I had never seen him wearing before. He was serious and yet kind. The face I imagined myself wearing someday, on a night like this for an instance, in front of Sasuke. Then I heard Sasuke's voice, tough yet mild.

"I like somebody else," he said and I immediately realized what was going on. I decided to leave knowing that the moment was not meant for me. But hearing Sasuke's voice again hindered me. "And you like Sakura."

"Are you telling me what my feelings are?"

"No. I'm just telling you the truth."

I could perceive Naruto's frustration but he managed to keep his temper. I imagined myself on Naruto's shoes. I wondered how I would react myself if Sasuke told me those words… I'd be frustrated, too. Maybe even mad and I guess I'd just kiss him wildly for him to understand. I silently laughed and bonked myself for such thinking.

"Darn Sasuke, then tell me who's that person!"

"It's none of your business, dobe," Sasuke answered calmly.

"Sheesh, so that's just it? Okay. But I'm gonna tell you once more, Uchiha Sasuke, that it's you that I like NOW and I'm gonna make you like me more than that dumbass."

Naruto surprised me but then I thought that it was normal of him to say such thing. I felt a bit envious knowing that I could never do the same. I smiled sympathetically to myself and sighed. It was hard being your sensei, you know, Sasuke-kun?

"Naruto…" Sasuke said and I looked at their direction again. Naruto was leaving but he stopped and turned around, his eyes were looking at Sasuke dully, his lips were pouting.

"Sheesh, Sasuke. Like your words gonna affect me. I'm gonna prove to you that I'm better than that dumbass, whoever that is, and make you like me. Hm!" he declared, with that determined smirk he always wore. Again, I felt sorry to myself.

Sasuke sighed and gestured Naruto to leave. "Yeah right," he taunted and brood again once Naruto was gone. I decided to go to him but then he spoke. I thought he felt my presence but then I realized that he was just talking to himself.

"Sorry," he whispered and I knew it was offered to Naruto. I smiled and stepped a little closer and closer, keeping my chakra, avoiding disturbing him. "You are good yourself, you know."

He should have told those words in front of Naruto, I thought. It was a shame. It could somehow comfort the young fox-demon. But it was Sasuke's way and I did not have the right to argue. I was already near him, tempted to surprise him by leaping at his back, perhaps pinning him to ground and rape him. Geez…

"I like you..." he whispered and I stopped, nervous and miserable. I was wrong, I guess. So he liked Naruto. But he did not need to hide it, I thought. It was not as complicated as my feelings for him. I felt my feet moving again before Sasuke spoke.

"But not the way I like Kakashi-sensei…" then I froze with my last step. And I knew Sasuke froze, too, finally realizing I was just behind him.

"I know that you know I like you," he said and I answered instinctively, "Oh? Was that what you said last night?"

I remembered myself stepping back after I heard him spoke. He quickly turned to me, shock written on his face. "Sensei!" he blurted out, his face never paler than ever.

"Aye, sorry… heheh?" I mumbled and continued stepping back before finally puffing my way out. I got scared, I guess. And it was so cowardly for me to be so. And perhaps I was being a coward again…

"Aw, forget it Sasuke-kun. You're not serious about it anyway, are you?" I said impulsively and received another silent blow. He turned around and I frowned.

"Yeah, I guess," he whispered, his voice cracking and I knew I hurt him again. "Just forget what I said, I guess. Ja, sensei," he continued and walked away.

I wanted to ask him to stay so that I could hug him, kiss him, and tell him I felt the same. But I considered it forbidden. I was his sensei. I was a guy, too. And I would hurt Naruto in the process and several other people who worshipped Sasuke. But hurting him was the last thing I could ever do and yet… I had done it several times already. I wanted to comfort him, the least I could do. But I was not sure whether I could keep myself from him once I started.

"Sasuke," I called and he immediately stopped. "I'm sorry," I said and saw his shoulder quiver slightly.

"Hn, it's nothing," he said and left.

I smirked. I never hated myself more than today. I felt the wind and it was blowing colder than ever. But I felt this imaginary gust that was pushing my feet to run to him. But I never did. Instead, I turned around. And there Naruto was, glaring at me the way he never did before…

**OWARI**

A/N3: Haha! Sorry for one lame one-shot. Hehe. Please review, minna! So that I know what you want for my next Naruto fiction. Hehe. It's entitled Lovely Poison (I think?) and another Kakashi X Sasuke and Naruto X Sasuke and Many-Other-Guys X Sasuke (hehe, just kidding). Oh well… Inspire me to go on!!


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